“What do I say?”

“Show me something you like about this app. What makes it fun? Is there anything about it you wish worked differently?”

Then: Let your child lead a short tour. Ask before taking over the screen.

With a younger child: Ask them to teach you one button or game rule.

With a teen: Ask what adults misunderstand about the app. Listen before suggesting changes.

“You do not have to reply to keep someone happy. Can we look together at who can contact you and practice blocking or reporting?”

Then: Use the app’s current setup guide to review contact permissions. If there are threats or sexual requests, use the help pages.

With a younger child: Practice closing the message and finding a trusted adult.

With a teen: Ask whether the person is pressuring them to move apps, keep secrets, or share personal information.

“That sounds hard to sit with. What would make today feel easier? We can think through muting, leaving, reporting, or getting support at school together.”

Then: Ask what your child wants you to understand before contacting others. For ongoing school concerns, use the state help desk.

With a younger child: Offer two concrete choices: sit together for a break or ask a trusted adult for help.

With a teen: Talk about the fear of being left out and who in the group might be supportive.

“Thank you for telling me. We can talk about the rule later. First, I want to understand what you need and help you feel safe.”

Then: Keep your first response calm. Avoid promising that everything will stay secret if someone may need protection.

With a younger child: Use short sentences and give them time to respond.

With a teen: Ask what they are worried will happen if you get involved.

“You do not owe anyone a photo, even someone you like. Someone who cares about you should respect your no. You can come to me if a picture was already shared.”

Then: If an image of a minor may be sexual, do not download, copy, or forward it. Use the image-sharing help page for next steps.

With a younger child: Practice saying “I need to ask my grown-up first.”

With a teen: Ask about pressure without demanding to see an intimate image.

Help with threats involving images  · NCMEC’s Take It Down service

“Let’s make a plan we both understand. What do you want time or money for, and what needs room in our day too?”

Then: Use the family agreement to write down purchase approval, device breaks, and a date to review the plan.

With a younger child: Make the next step visible: one more agreed activity, then the device charges.

With a teen: Invite them to propose a workable plan and include adults’ device habits too.

“What do you like about talking to it? It can sound sure of itself and still be wrong. Let’s pick one answer and check it together.”

Then: Talk about which information should stay private and which questions need a trusted person’s help.

With a younger child: Explain that an app can make up an answer even when it sounds convincing.

With a teen: Ask whether the app ever makes them feel pressured, dependent, or reluctant to talk with real people.

“What was good online this week? Was anything annoying, confusing, or uncomfortable? Is there a setting or family rule we should revisit?”

Then: Keep it short. Pick one change together and set a time to check whether it helped.

With a younger child: Use one “good thing” and one “tricky thing.”

With a teen: Ask what support they want and where they would like more independence.