Use AI together, by age
Kids learn to use AI the way they learn most things: by watching you do it, then trying it next to you. Start together, and step back as they show you they can handle it.
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Kids learn AI the way they learn most things: by watching you. It's a tool, not a friend. If it's weird or scary, stop and tell a grown-up. Under nine, you drive. From nine to twelve, they type, and you sit next to them. Thirteen to seventeen: their own use, with check-ins, and a family code word for emergency calls. Fill in the family agreement together. safernotscared.org/ai/together.
Five rules for every age
- It is a tool, not a friend. It does not know you or care about you, even when it sounds like it does.
- Check what it tells you. Especially facts, numbers, health questions, and advice about people.
- Keep private things private. No full names, school, address, passwords, or photos of faces.
- No pictures, voices, or videos of real people without their yes. Not even as a joke.
- If it says something weird, scary, or asks you to keep a secret, stop and tell a grown-up. You are not in trouble for telling.
Under 9: you drive
Use your own account on a shared screen. Your child asks; you type.
- Make up a bedtime story together, then ask it to change the ending.
- Ask it a silly question you know the answer to, and catch it when it gets something wrong.
- If the tool makes pictures, ask for your pet as a superhero.
What to say: “It’s a computer program that is very good with words. It can be wrong, so we check.”
9 to 12: they type, you sit next to them
- Ask it to explain a homework topic, then quiz your child on it.
- Play spot the mistake: ask it about something your child knows inside out, like a game or a sport, and count the errors.
- Look at an AI-made picture together and talk about how you would know it is not real.
What to say: “Some apps try to be your friend. If one does, tell me about it. You won’t be in trouble.”
13 to 15: their own use, with check-ins
- Check the app’s age rules before they sign up. Some chatbots are for adults only.
- Ask what each teacher allows, then ask them to show you how they use AI for homework. See AI and schoolwork.
- Talk about fake images of classmates. Making them is abuse, it can be a crime, and the person in the picture is never to blame. See Spotting AI fakes.
- Ask about companion apps and AI characters directly. They are the part of AI most likely to go wrong for this age. See AI and your kid.
16 to 17: close to independent
- Show them the uses that matter at this age: practicing for a job interview, researching colleges, drafting a cover letter they then rewrite in their own words.
- Talk about consent with images and voices, and how to report a fake.
- Agree a family code word for emergency calls, because voices can now be copied. See the phone call that sounds like your child.
A family AI agreement
Fill this in together and put it somewhere you will see it. Use Print this page for a paper copy.
- We use AI in: ______________________
- The AI tools we use: ______________________
- We never type our full names, school, address, passwords, or photos of faces.
- For homework, AI can help us ______________________, but not ______________________.
- If AI says something weird or scary, we: ______________________
- We will check in about AI every: ______________________
Keep the conversation going
The conversation cards include questions about AI for every age, and the 10-minute family checkup can build a small AI plan around your child.
Sources
- Guidance on AI and children — UNICEF Innocenti